Relationship Success 

So let’s imagine for a moment that you have broken up with your partner and suddenly you’re experiencing deep regret.

You want him or her back. After all, your ex was the best person in the world — your soulmate, the person who you can’t live without.

And you are quite certain about that — you know it with 100% assurance: you’ve made the most terrible mistake of your life and you want them back.

So what are you going to do about it? Open a line of communication to your partner, or rather, your ex-partner. She or he is the one who you wish to have back in your life, but you need to do it in a very skilful and particularly preplanned way. In archetypal terms you do not want to alert your partner’s internal Safety Officer, who will alert your ex-partner to the dangers of getting back together, not the possible pleasure! 

But, if you’re clever about it, sending the right kind of messages at the right time could easily cause them to look at you with a new found favour.

The problem is of course that your ex may not feel the same way about you: which is why getting your ex-partner back is a very skilful and rather slow process. It can’t be rushed, it has to be done discreetly and with discretion.

Furthermore, you do of course have to consider how your relationship will be different after you get back together. If you carry on doing the same things that you were doing before you broke up, it’s entirely predictable that the outcome second time around will be more or less the same as it was the first time: another breakup!

Since you’re trying to avoid that, you really need to set some goals. You can’t actually achieve anything unless you know what it is you’re aiming for. And you may also need to do some personal development work so that you become less triggered and less emotionally reactive to the stimuli your ex-partner “sends” your way. This might take the form of healing the shadow work, or more simply, shadow work. That work might specifically centre on the archetype of the lover….. 

Once you’ve set those goals — and they might, for example, be dating a couple of times a week, or getting back together and living together — whatever you choose, you’re going to go through a process of steps.  

Start by using a kind of emotional and mental checklist which you need to go through to make sure that you’re ready to start the process of connecting with your ex.  

This is rather like the checks the pilot does before he takes his plane down the runway — it’s to check you’re ready, to check you’re going to fly, not crash.

It includes things like your measuring your self-esteem; it includes things like whether or not you’re feeling needy.

It’s about checking your motivation to get back with your ex-partner to see if that’s actually sincere and genuine, and to prevent any unforeseen emotional events.

When you’re ready to take your partner back, or when you’re ready to look for your partner’s forgiveness, you need to know how to approach them so that you have, as it were, “the upper hand”.

This is not to say you’ll be manipulative, but it is going to require a certain level of your Magician archetype’s cleverness.

For instance, emotional intensity at the right point is critical: to be exact, firing yourself up prematurely is probably going to turn your partner off more likely than to turn on.

And no matter how difficult the idea of contacting your ex-partner may be, the fact is that to achieve a successful reconciliation you’re going to need to make the effort.

One of the good things about healing your emotional wounds with shadow work is that you’ll be able to do that easily. You can connect to your partner by saying something constructive: the whole idea here is that you send messages which convey a certain emotional and mental attitude. That way, you can actually convey to your partner your sincere desire to get back together with them.

What I recommend is that in every stage of the process you actually open your heart and do this with love. That’s much more likely to succeed than any other approach.

It’s predicated on the assumption that a certain number of people will know after the breakup that really they’ve made a terrible mistake, and they want their ex-partner back, and they want a new relationship, a healthier, more emotionally satisfying relationship, the one they had before.

Now this is an interesting challenge, because the thing that causes a breakup is the thing that really represents our deepest issue — whatever that may be. To get back together with partner without doing any work at a psychotherapeutic deep level is almost asking for trouble, in my opinion. One of the best and most approachable ways to do this is through healing the emotional wounds you hold in shadow.

Relationships thrive when people heal their emotional wounds, and they can then approach relationships in a less emotive way. This approach actually does restore relationships after a break up. 

Why Relationships Fail

In the video below, Mike Fiore certainly provides us with a lot of information about why relationships fail, and he offers a great deal of support and advice which is aimed at helping you to establish whether or not you really do want to get back together with your ex-partner, or whether it might be better to move onto a relationship with someone else.

He offers information on how to Get Your Ex Back by using a simple straightforward program which gives you ideas about sending messages to your ex-partner. That way, he says, you can re-establish a relationship after a breakup.

This may sound totally bizarre, but the fact of the matter is it seems to work.

And the reason it works is probably because sending messages by text is a neutral medium. You can say all kinds of things in a less emotive and perhaps even less wounding way. At least, compared to sitting opposite your ex-partner saying these things face-to-face.

By using a carefully structured series of messages, each of which has a specific purpose, each of which is designed to rebuild the relationship in a particular way, you can avoid the difficulties which face-to-face communication might invoke.

Of course, at some point you’re going to have to get together with your partner and face them if you want a real relationship with them. However, the objective is that by the time that happens, you’re functioning on a different wavelength. That way you and your partner will have established a much deeper and more emotionally mature relationship.

Now you may be wondering whether or not this actually works: one good way to establish this is to look at the Internet to try and find out. Check this out for example.

One of the places where we can get good information about how people feel about a person or product is Amazon.com. In fact Mike Fiore, it turns out, has written a book called Six simple tricks to crack the man code and get any guide to open his heart. One reviewer speaks of this book in the following way: “As usual Michael Fiore has consolidated complicated dating information in his new book … and he gets brutally honest about the emotional states and maturity of any man, explaining why he’s that way, offering information about how get him to open up, and explaining why he does what he does.”

There are many similar powerful reviews, all of which seem to be positive. There are actually quite a lot of reviews from women, who are generally quite critical of anything that doesn’t offer good value for money on the Internet — so I think that’s a really positive sign, and all in all I strongly support this as a way in which you may well be able to establish a better more healthy relationship.